a rush and a push and the land is ours

A reluctance, a resistance. But life is good, opportunities raining down. A little space got made, and I’m amazed at what’s shown up to fill it.

“I heard about you, and I’m liking what you do.”

The feeling is mutual. Coffee? Let’s talk about silent movies, sound art, collage. Let’s shoot a film, make puppets, read academic papers and talk about motivating emotions. Let’s stop global warming, create world peace. Right now, I can do anything.

Something got ripped off. I thought I would feel raw, vulnerable, exposed. I feel shiny, new, fresh. Found my self-esteem, it was hiding in a bus stop. I deserve what I’m getting right now.

I’ve been neglecting this space and others, so ready, re-set, go! Reassuring words, looks, touches try to heal a wound that should be there. But I’m through with being punished unnecessarily. I’m all about celebrating myself and those who made me who I am.

Brilliant new energy, strange new place. Owing gratitude and looking for places to show it. Universe, know that I’ve learned my lesson, know that I’m grateful for how it came to be, wrapped up in cosmic dust. There’s beauty I didn’t know about before, in the unlikeliest of places. I’m so grateful for everything I’ve been through, so great-full with everything I’ve just been given.

I have so much in me to give. It’s still there, almost untapped. If only you knew, but I can’t regret what I felt to be the truth. The body knows.

Plugged right back into the city last night, Kensington Market, no less. Three different offers, life, love and work. Tell me I’m not blessed. This re-grounding is so empowering, so beautiful, like a hard-earned reward it doesn’t have to be anything special. Just acknowledgment right now is enough.

Life’s feeling like a Rubik’s cube – we’d had the blue side all straight, now the yellow’s coming together. And it’s easier from here on.

And as a final message – don’t aim for my lips, yo. They can speak for themselves.


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