falling into my voice/word to the skeleton’s tears

it’s been a while since i’ve done any real creative writing. probably since around september, with the beginning of the major undertaking. i’ve been scribbling here and there, mainly to maintain sanity. but as the year comes to an end, i’ve been thinking more and more about what role my writing’s meant to play in my life.

(i have been writing academically – thousands and thousands of words. but it’s not the same).

a morning conversation with my temporary roomie sparked off a whole series of thoughts. beginning with young singers and emcees who have yet to settle into their voices, styles. looking at my writing throughout the years, and seeing how i’m now comfortable with my writing style, easy with the way i handle myself verbally. on paper/screen, that is. knowing that now, only just now, i’m ready to move this into a more public space.

at one point in his life, even my grandfather rejected the title of “poet.” nothing can explain what that means to me.

it should have clicked when i started moving my writing away from tradition. reached a place where i felt my foundation was solid enough for me to launch myself on it. so okay, i’ve tested that. and i’m happy with the results. now what?

a project that i have wanted to do for years is taking on an urgency i don’t understand. part of it has to do with my reason for doing it, which worries me, but i don’t want to deal with that now. or ever.

i don’t know what’s next. but i do know 2010 is going to be big. really big. i’m putting it out there right now: i’m stepping up. i want to see what i can give, what i can affect, what i can change. and i’m giving it my all.

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