Riding a creative high all day. On this streak about nature and spectacle, but enough about that. This post’s purpose is to slow my pace down, give me something else to write about. Been grazing to satisfy hunger, so in my search for a decent meal, ended up at the 24-hour grocery store. Walking through the fluorescence, I momentarily snapped back into real and realized that I looked certifiable. Hair all crazy, over-sized sweater, flip-flops and frayed, stained, dirty jeans. Not to mention the glazed eyes and the frantic gestures, as well as the utter hopelessness when I can’t find what I’m looking for. Thank God I live where I do – you can only get away with looking and acting like this when you’re surrounded by artists or students. The unkempt, borderline-homeless look (sometimes accompanied by dubious odours) is an accepted norm in this part of town.
It’s a full moon tonight, but I seriously doubt that this is what’s driving today’s impulse. Not discounting it as a contributing factor, it’s just not the defining one. I’m feeding off a seemingly unending amount of energy and it feels good. I know exactly where this drive, motivation, is coming from, and I’m not sharing. It just feels so good. I’m sure those who understand my Scorpio nature can guess.
Stimulation’s been coming from all over, and today the dam burst. Feeling so re-invigorated, it makes all those horrible overwhelming downs worth it. Today is why life is beautiful. Today is a reward. Today is why I endure Darkness.
On a different tip, there has been a lot of confusion surrounding me. Personally, I’m not confused, I’m only a witness. Or, I’ve made a conscious decision to witness rather than participate. Contradictory messages, bombarded by conflicting words, thoughts and actions. I’m waiting, time reveals all. And sticking to being guided by my hip-hop era mantra: Word is bond.
Also, my daily is about to change in pursuit of a major life goal next week. I can’t afford to get caught up in trivialities. Watching and waiting patiently, to see if what’s going on around me is bluff or truth. I’ll only know when the dust settles.